ADD something funny to my script?

i wrote this small play for a class, my teacher says it's perfect but i know others will be funny so i need help to add comedy. it can be random. Open scene to a movie theater]


[Boyfriend and girlfriend are at the movies]





Boy


I can’t believe you’re my girlfriend….





Girl


You’re too sweet. You’re a good guy so why wouldn’t I want to be with you.





Boy


Gee-Willikers, this is going to be great. [Hugs her] and I trust that you won’t hurt me and do me wrong.





Girl


Don’t worry silly I would never do anything to hurt you. [She takes her phone to answer a text]





Boy


I’m going to get you some treats for out cinematic adventure. What’ll you like????





Girl


What do they have??





Boy


[*Sarcastically] It’s either between a flipping steak and a lobster…you chose.


What do you think??? Same thing they’ve had for that past 50 years. I’ll just surprise you.





Girl


Ok then, see you in a bit; I’m just going to powder my nose.





[As they separate the girl just goes to find a hiding spot to make a call]








Girl


Hey cookie lips, I miss you baby





[Obviously it isn’t her “boyfriend” that she’s at the movies with]





Vato on phone


Hey baby, where are you?





Girl


At the movies with my grandma





Vato


Well that’s good hunny bunny, you’ve been taking your grandma out every weekend, when am I going to get time with my cupcake?





Girl


I know sweetie it’s just that I hardly ever saw her growing up, I’m just making up for lost times. I miss you and I’ll make it up to you.





Vato


Just don’t be giving any of your time to other guys





Girls


You know you’re the only one for me.





[The “movie boyfriend’” comes back]





Boy


Who were you talking to???





Girl


Huh??? Oh it was my grandmother; I forgot to tell her happy birthday.





[Believing the lie he smiles and hugs her]





Boy


Tell her happy birthday from me next time you talk to her.


[END scene]





[The next day]





Friend


Dude I know you’re my friend but I think you need to pay more attention to your girl, she’s known for being a little umm…dog





Boy


[*Snow blinded] I know she’s so soft and loves to just be hugged. She’s perfect





Friend


No brah, I mean she likes to get around. *Wink *wink





Boy


Dude I can’t believe you’re telling me this, I thought you would be happy for me, I’ve tried for a year just to hold her hand and now that she’s my girlfriend you call her out like that? Do you know how long it took me to get with her?





[Boy walks away]





Friend


[Under his breath] just cause you were on her waiting list.





[Later that night they boy and girl are on the phone]





Boy


I can’t believe it,





Girl


Believe what.





[As she answers she’s texting on another phone]





Boy


My friend called you out and told me that you were playing me.





Girl


Well… ummm.





Boy


Well what??





Girl


I can’t lie anymore to you, I do have another boyfriend.





Boy


[*Crushed] wha… what…how can you do this??





Girl


I know and I’m so so unbelievably sorry. It’s just that this and me have known each other and we both liked each other when we were little and I just wanted the chance to be with him.





Boy


Why would you wait this long to tell me and why would you even say yes to me when I asked you out?


Girl


Well… do you want the truth?





Boy


No I just want you to lie to me to make me feel better. Of course I want the truth, for once I want to hear the truth from you.





Girl


Well, I knew you would forgive me and wouldn’t brake up with me. Right??





Boy


I need some time to think.





Inner thoughts


She knows I won’t brake up with her. She knows that I’m going to forgive her





Girl


Ok, but now that you know the truth, I don’t have to lie, I’ll stay with you and think of it this way, nothing will change. Since it’s been like this since day one.





Boy


[Crushed] ok I guess that sounds okay, you’re right nothing changes.





Girl


[*Smiling] ok now we can really start with this whole honesty thing. I’m going to go to sleep, wait honesty, my pother line is ringing I’ll see you tomorrow. I love you good night.





Boy


Yea sweetheart bye.





[Weeks pass with this new lifestyle but the boy dies a little more on the inside each day, the girl and guy stay together for month, until, four months and 17 boyfriends later the boy brakes up with the girl, for drinking his apple juice]ADD something funny to my script?
okay, at the parts where she's making excuses to the vato guy and her movie boyfriend, come up with some ridiculous lies for what she's doing with her grandma, like, ';oh, i'm at my grandma's batmitsva party'; for one of the guy's and then another excuse could be something like


girl-';oh, i jsut got off the phone with my mom, and my grandma's going to be on 'Good Morning America' for newly discovered evidence on the rhianna/ chris brown feud';





boy- oh cool, i'll tivo that. what day is she going on?





girl- oh, no. don't tivo it, my grandma believes tivo is ';the devil's recording device'; so you'd only be insulting her by recording it.





and then at the part where the girl and boy are on the phone and she's like ';do you want the truth?'; and he says, ';no i want you to lie to me'; you should add something like





girl- do you want the truth?





boy-no, i want you to lie to me (sarcasm)





girl-(relieved) oh, great. ahhhh... (nervous/sad) my grandma just died! (fake, overdramatic crying) SHE CHOKED ON HER BIRTHDAY CAKE!!! what tragedy!! oohh, i'm so confused! i don't know what i'm doing anymore?(says doing anymore like a question)





boy- i was being sarcastic! yes, i want the truth from you! by the way, you should really find other loved ones other than your grandma to use for excuses, those grandma lies can only travel so far.





girl- (exhaustion/ defeat in her voice) yeah, i'm running outta steam. and fresh ideas.














-hope this helps you and good luck with whatever you choose to go with! :)ADD something funny to my script?
How about at the end the boy tells her he's leaving her for Vato and Vato tells her he's leaving her for the boy :)
And then a rampaging Tractor crushes them both to a bloody pulp.





THE END...