Would you read my book??

i am thirteen but i do have plenty of curse words so... yeah. leave comments..


its called Decisions to Make


have you ever had a family that didnt want you? well right now my dad could care less if i lived today or died. my mom was too scared of my dad -on steroids and who knows how many other drugs- to do sh*t. you only want to go to schoolbecause you get away from your family. but then you realise people are starting rumors about you. Then waht you thought was a peaceful getawat only turns into a bigger hell than at home.Then someone you REALLY like asked you out. ofcorse you say yes then three weeks later he brakes up with you, and school only becomes a bigger pain in the ***.who am i? my names elizabeth walker. my friends just call me liz or lizzy.i am 21 years old.My mother died when i was 14. She drowned in a river near my grandma rozas gouse. after that i lived in foster homes because when we called the cops they examined my father and found serious drugs in his system such as cocaine weed and many other drugs then they took him to jail. so yeah i was living with fat families thin families big families small families sane families and crazy families. so my dating life was a living hell and my sex life didnt exist. even though my mom died i kept my promise';you can either stay a virgin until your married or moved out';she once said. ';pinky swear mommy';i said, then we went to bed. that was my first talk about sex and i was only nine. But oh well. it made me smarter. She once told me that a guy would say anything to get you in bed. So when a guy told me he loved me i told him i wasnt sleeping with him. they`d try the next day i said no and they dumped me. on my 18th birthdaymy gramdma bought me a house in paris, close to hers. i got a boyfriend and an extremely handsome one at that. he was 17 and in colleage which was weird at the time but i overlooked it. one day we were talking ';liz, we need somewhere else to live. maybe somewhere closer to school?'; Justin said








and thats all i got so far. not really but im getting tired so thats where im stopping. lol sorry.Would you read my book??
A book has to have a begging middle and an end.Would you read my book??
well, why don't you being with correct punctuation and grammar. Also, it's all over the place, randomly detailed and not organized well. Sorry, but no I would not read your book
Lets just say, writing is not your talent. The way you describe things is a little odd. No one would ever talk that way in real life.
No. Too many grammar and spelling errors.
Um. Let's just say that it definitely shows that you're only 13.
It's not bad. You've got a lot of good ideas, but you need to polish it more--this is more like an outline than an actual story.





If I were you, I would open with an actual scene. Remember the old creative writing saying: ';Show, don't tell.'; Instead of having your main character telling us this, have her telling Justin about all this. Or better yet, open with the scene where she's in the same room with her dad and he treats her terribly or just ignores her or whatever. Have another scene where she's talking to her foster family. Have another scene where she seems extremely depressed for some reason, and only her very best friend knows why--it's the anniversary of the day her mother died. Then have another scene where she's talking to her friends and they tell her about the rumors being spread about her, and so on.





Another suggestion. If you're only thirteen... write about being a thirteen year old. Write about your own experiences. It'll come off more interesting and realistic. I find it really interesting, what it's like to be thirteen... and I'll never really know, because it was so long ago for me. If you've tried drugs, write about that. If you've suffered through losing a loved one, write about that... but if you haven't, try to avoid it, because it'll come off phony. For me, it would be impossible to write about being related to a coke addict, because I can hardly imagine what it's like. There are so many aspects I could never know about it, and it would show through in my writing.





Also, you want to stay consistent. I'm assuming you're talking about her maternal grandmother? If her grandmother's so rich, why was she living in foster homes? Why was it that her daughter, (who must be somewhat upper class) was hanging out with some sleazy guy who does steroids in the first place? And why does she buy her a house in Paris, the arguably the most expensive city in the world, when she already has a house there? Couldn't they live together? It comes off quite unrealistic, and I don't like to judge, but I'm guessing you've never been to Paris.





However, I'll venture to guess that your parents are divorced? If they are, may I suggest you focus on a plot that's more focused on that? And it sounds like someone you know has dealt with drugs. Write about them. Write about the world from your point of view. You can change it up--change the plot, change the names, change the personalities... but write about what you know about. That's your greatest asset. Draw from the things you know about, and go from there. That's what makes good writing.





So to answer your question:





Would I read a book about drugs and sex when it's written by someone who doesn't really know much about either of the two? No. Sorry.





But alternatively: Would I read a book about a thirteen year old girl trying to deal with problems and hardships the writer knows everything about, and I know nothing about? Hell yes. Your life is different from mine. Your hardships are unique--things that I couldn't imagine, things I would find interesting. *That's* something I would read about.





Also... don't listen to those bastards who tell you that you can't write. But if I may suggest, before you post any of your work online, you'll want to make sure you capitalize and use proper punctuation. Plus, don't forget to spell/grammar check. Personally, I don't mind mistakes, but real critics and publishers will ignore you right off the bat for something like that.





One more thing. As long as you like writing and as long as your heart's in it, keep doing it. Write as much as you can, and you'll just automatically get better from experience. You may not publish your first book, but never stop trying--never stop writing, if it's what you love.





I hope this helps. Sorry if this is a little more advice than you bargained for, haha.
That's awful.
It's a mess - grammatically, structurally. There are random details thrown in here and there. It's not at all well written. It doesn't even try to stay remotely on topic.


Epic writing fail, I'm sorry to say.
I think you have lots of good ideas and concepts, but I think you are too young to portray what you are trying to portray. Writing about a 21 year old just isn't very practical when your only 13, you don't have the life experiences of a 21 year old, and developmentally, your at a different level of mental cognition, maturity, etc.





Also, structurally and grammatically you have problems. Again, being 13, you don't have the schooling yet that teaches you all the correct grammar and whatnots.





I admire your ambition though. Don't listen to people who tell you you have no talent or to stop writing. Keep writing! Like everything else, practice is the key.





Best of luck!