After the breakup we stayed close friends and I was glad because I saw this as an opportunity to get together with her again. Of course she saw right through me and after a rather rough fight we said some ugly things to each other and didn't talk for long months. Whatever happened I still loved her, but since we didn't meet anymore, it was a little easier on me.
I was in and out in relationships at the time and it was just the matter of time when I decided to contact my first again. I wrote her, she wrote back and everything went back to normal... or rather back to hell. She had a boyfriend(I knew she would, she never was the lonely kind) and every time we talked(via email) I died a little inside every time I heard how happy she was. I know it's selfish but it hurt like hell. I knew I was wrong, so after 1,5 years of emailing I decided to break contact with her completely.
The only tiny problem it didn't work. I can't find a girl whom I can love because I want to find my first love in every one of them. If I see a girl who looks like her I fall into depression. Yesterday we went out in the Opera and a girl who looked just like her sat in front of me and 3 and a half hours I tried to concentrate on the play, but my mind just kept wandering and I couldn't enjoy the whole thing. This is my love life: I meet someone and everything goes well, and suddenly I just tell myself ';What's the point?'; I notice every little flaws and mistakes, I start criticising her and blow every chance to fall in love again. I simply can't experience love again because I prejudge every girl and I decide in advance that she is not the right for me. And now here I am, I'm young, I should be dating like crazy and shouldn't think about a girl I love(d) so long ago. And yet...
What do I do? How can I forget about her? I think I'll never forget her completely, but how can I get rid of my love for her? Am I the only miserable guy here or did this happen to someone else? I want to fall in love again but I can't do it as long as I feel for the first!
Thanks for your time.I'm still in love with my first love, what do I do?
I think the first thing you need to realize is that no one every truly forgets their first love, it is such a memorial time in our lives, and I think its from our first love that we really learn what it is we want in a partner, and what it is we dont, its a time we learn alot about ourselves and a lot about others and alot about relationships, so stop putting yourself down, this is normal to never forget and to think about it.
Secondly, ask yourself, do you miss the relationship you had? Or do you miss your ex, you said a few times that it is almost impossible for you both to maintain any sort of communication, so it sounds to me that its the relationship or the idea of the relationship that you miss, not her necessarily (this isn't to belittle her by any means, of course SHE was important to you and will always hold a special place in your heart).
You need to start to enjoy life, start enjoying all of the things you have now, and stop nit picking on everyone that comes into your life, they are not ever going to be your ex, we are all unique in our own ways, so it is impossible to find someone similar, plus why would you want to? It didn't work out with you and your ex, so other woman who are different then she, would probably be a better match for you anyways.
My sister told me once, that we find love when we least expect it, and in all the wrong places. Once you are comfortable being you, and when you really arent looking for a relationship, will be when you find someone special.
As for your ex, it is ALWAYS harder to feel happy for an ex when we arent happy ourselves. This of course is normal, I think everyone would agree.
But I really think that deep down, you are longing for the feelings you had, the relationship you had, and all that was associated with the relationship you had with your ex, your not longing for your ex, but for the relationship, dont beat yourself up over it, half of the fun of dating is the funny feelings we get inside, how we are nervous, and scared, and unsure, how we react to their ';flaws';, thats all part of dating, but if your not ready to date, surround yourself with good friends and just be alone for awhile, but dont close the door on the possibility of meeting someone.
Itll happen for you!I'm still in love with my first love, what do I do?
This is a tragedy. Life is a story and I have felt like I only have to write it, which isn't exactly easy. This predicament is currently a tragedy it is your job to make it into a romance. At least I would much rather read that story. This doesnt mean it has to end with her but its yours to write!!
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Dear Miphee,
All my sympathies are with you. you will definitely overcome your problem but dear its all within you, no one can help you but you. First you have to stop thinking about your first love, in fact you have to stop thinking about love for some time. Think about something else for sometime, take part in some activities like sports or something. Try to make your self busy in things you be very exhausted. I think this will help you over come your problem. Also one advise to you my friend try to see the half glass full then empty. See the positive points in the friends you meet, rather than the negative points. The girl you loved would also have some negative points in her too, no one in the world is same and perfect. So try to watch what is good in the new girlfriend whenever you make one, avoid the things you don't like.
To me it sounds like the classic case of you want what you dont have.. Had you coontinued with the relationship longer than 4 months, who knows.. but all the would of could ofs and should ofs wont do anything for you. you have to find a way to move on.
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