Friday, August 20, 2010

Should I leave my boyfriend? iv'e noticed he has been getting aggressive after drinking.?

should i leave my boyfriend or have a very long talk? we have been together for 3 years,I am very in love with him,he has never treated me with out respect or never has gotten angry with me, very caring, a perfect boyfriend,until he gets drunk. we go out every once in a while and hangout with friends and get a few drinks,about a month ago, on our way home from a bar, something stupid escalated into a very violent argument, i didn't do anything to make him upset,i know how to handle my alcohol and know when to stop, i'm a nice drunk,never angry, he gets very angry at the end of the night, the first time he got very mean when he was drunk, yelling like a crazy person at the top of his lungs in my face,very scary,pushing me, slamming on the brakes in the middle of the road,my head hitting the windshield,he didn't stop, i chose to get out the car and walk somewhere so i could call home,as i went to open the car door, he pushed me pretty hard against the door before i could get out,when i got out, he picked me up,took my phone, slammed me on the car,trying to hug me. sorry this is so long, but i have nobody i can talk to about this.when this happened, i forgave him.thinking it wouldn't escalate to that again.





the second time, last weekend,we decided to go out together and spend some time, got a few drinks, and he wanted to go home after a while, so we left, i told him i didn't want to go to his house tonight, i wanted to go home, he freaked out!! and went crazy on me,saying he wasn't taking me home,same thing happens again, he parks in a parking lot,i get out, because this is the second time now, pushing me, shoving me, chasing me down the street to get me back in the car.I don't know what i should do about this?





the first time he grazed the side of my face, not hitting me, or anything, but when i confronted him, he said i was in the way.





the 2nd time it happened, he said i was in the way also,the next day i had a slight bruise on my arm, from him grabbing me.that was it for me, i told him we need a break, iv'e never had to deal with anything like this before.





both times, he didn't remember anything that was said or done.which hurt me the most, it was pretty horrifying to me.he's begging to speak to me and makeup for it, and he says hes so sorry,he knows what he did was wrong and could lose me for good.





Please, any answer is a good answer and i'll greatly appreciate it %26amp; use your adviceShould I leave my boyfriend? iv'e noticed he has been getting aggressive after drinking.?
From what I read, you guys are like really really in love, but if that's how he treats you, drunk or not, then you need to take serious consideration of whether you want to stay together or not. If he gets like this every time he gets drunk, don't just not go out with him anymore because that doesn't solve the problem.





I know the part where he doesn't remember anything being said or done hurts real bad, you should talk to him about EVERYTHING that's been going on and whatever is troubling you. The key element to a good relationship is trust and honesty.





Plus, only saying sorry and begging doesn't mean a lot, he should prove himself to you that he really does love you and is sorry. If you forgive him this easily, your problem in the first place won't be solved and this memory will scar you for life. My advice, would be to just talk it all out to him, tell him everything. If he disagrees or gets mad, at least he knows exactly how you feel right now and I'm sure y'all will figure something out together.(:Should I leave my boyfriend? iv'e noticed he has been getting aggressive after drinking.?
Whoa. You don't hurt what you love. Under ANY circumstances. If this continues he could seriously hurt you, maybe even kill you in a fit of rage. Get a man who will protect you from harm, not harm you.
sweetie end it, you dont need tht in your life.


yeah 3yrs is a long time but there are others out there!
Obviously, your Boyfriend has issues when he drinks. We can all agree on that, correct?





Anyway, I think what you should do is this:


Have a very long, thought-out talk on the subject. If the problem persists, leave him. Because it'll only escalate from there.





If he continues being aggressive and you don't leave him, you'll end up as another poster-girl for domestic abuse.
yes please get rid of him now before something really bad happens! i was in a relationship like that and it ended really badly so trust me.





good luck
I read the first sentence and immediately I'm wondering why you are asking such a strange question. Of course have a very long talk! It's not dump or talk. It's talk and then stay or dump. You've been together for 3 years!





That said, after your talk, you should decide if he should get help. If you really love him remember that alcohol and drugs is a very dangerous path and unrelated to love. By that I mean it's not going to matter how much you love him or he loves you if he indeed has a drinking problem. But talk about it, and if it's something both of you are willing to work through, then by all means stay with him. But don't just dump somebody without trying to help them.
I think you already no the answer sweetheart. Your dude can't control his drinks and shouldn't ever be drinking. But if you don't leave him one day he pulls this and he really hurts you then you'll regret not leaving. Never wait until it does harm you see the signs and get away. It just leads to a lifetime of abuse or condoning his drinking
i didnt read all that, but im just gnna jump into it.


Ive been exactly where you were, i was a bit of an *** towards my girlfriend. I was drinking alot with my friends and not noticing the effect it was having on my girlfriend. She got fed up with it and said its me or the alcohol, after that i didn't drink for about 2 years eventually i started again but not as heavily and as often, once or twice a month.
if alcohol use was subtracted from both sides of the relationship, what exactly is left?
put a freakin end to it already the guy has turned into a douche there is no excuse for beating up on a woman

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