Are my poems any good...?

Have you ever wanted to bring a gun to your head


Have blood gushing out all over your bed.


Have you ever just wanted to take too many pills


Just enough so you know it kills





Have you wanted to walk in to burning fire


Watch the flames destroy all your attire


Have you ever wished to hang yourself on a tree


So dieing could really be a guarantee





Have you wanted your brakes to stall


So your car would go crashing into a wall.


Have you ever really wanted to cut your veins


So there was so much blood it stains.





What many don鈥檛 see is there is some in pain


People take it like it鈥檚 a game


But no one knows how they really feel


They talk about it, like it鈥檚 no big deal





There鈥檚 people out there wanting just this


Because there mom died, or got denied there first kiss


People out there really want to die


But why does no one ever care why





Cant you see your best friend might really be sad


Having a much worst life then you ever had


Don鈥檛 deny what you know is true


Or you could end up being a victim of suicide too





--------------------------------------鈥?br>

Why do we sleep during the night


The darkness is blinding, putting children in fright


Why do only some die before there time


In fires, earthquakes, and that one fatal crime





Why do we torture the weak, but praise the strong


When they are the ones causing what鈥檚 wrong.


Why do we look at the bad but never the good


Being nice to that girl like no one would.





Why do we use violence to solve all are mistakes


With guns, knives, and bones to break.


Why do we care for those who could care less


When they are the ones tearing up success





Why do we risk all we have worked for


To be richer then ever before


Why, do we always say goodbye


To the ones that never can give a reply


--------------------------------------鈥?br>

A solider is fatally shot the ground


A cry of hurt is his very last sound


His dad kicked him as hard as he could


He wanted his family to work like it should





A little girl is pushed off her very first bike


Her knee breaking with one simple strike


A man his deliberately punched in the jaw


His best friends face was the last he saw





A simple middle school fight lead to her death


Her boyfriend was fault of her very last breath


He just wanted his little angel to stop crying


He didn鈥檛 know shaking her lead to her dieing





She hit him for being the cause of the lies


Ignoring the bleeding, bruises, and cries


He shot the gun without thinking ahead


Knowing he鈥檚 the reason his brothers dead





Violence just leads to more hurt and pain


It鈥檚 like a cycle but there鈥檚 nothing to gain


But revenge doesn鈥檛 solve one little thing


Sooner or later you will feel the sting





Why don鈥檛 we all just live in peace


Causing all the guns and knives to decrease


And cant you all see your in danger to


Violence is finally here, and we all know its true


---------------------------------


Dear god can you hear are cries from below


Don鈥檛 you see this is not all for show


People are dieing from lack of food


Begging for something to eat from the crude





Dear god cant you hear are prayers up there


All this pain and suffering is surely not fair


Are closet friends are dieing from one disease


Cure them now I beg of you, please





Dear god cant you see all the people in fear


Yelling at the sky hoping you will hear


All they want is someone to love


Raising there voices to the sky above





Dear god wont you listen to are pleas


All we want is for the pain to seize


People dieing from being in the wrong places


Hoping you will see the pain in there faces





God all we want is for you to see


That you can make this go away, you鈥檙e the key


And god were hoping you can hear are prayers


Hoping you鈥檙e the one that truly cares


--------------------------------------鈥?br>

Hello I am Danielle


I am only fourteen and have been writing for awhile


My poems are in order from oldest to most recent


And they generally talk about whats going on in the world


Tell what you think. Please and thank you.Are my poems any good...?
i think that your a very good writer. i like how you were able to say what you wanted without poetic peer. your poems are a bit dark but it is true that the world is not filled with flowers and rainbows. you should try to every now and then write a poem thats a little brighter though. just for a change. i realy think your a great writer you should submitt your pomes to family advocacy or a suicide prevention group or somthin. i think they would enjoy reading your poems. =)





im 14 too btw lolAre my poems any good...?
You could probably snip a bit here and there. I think the way it is written the violence is a bit too in the face to be poetic. I think it could be slightly toned down and it wouldnt hurt the poem. They have promise, just need some work. Two of the poems seem to be about the same thing and ran into each other
your poems are good but not great not for the fact they are dark but great poetry has a symbolic feel and flow to it.yes i understand it is modern style but the use of imagery and symbolism is also key to make a great poem. i do how ever love the messages behind them the message is what makes it good but every poem has ttwo thing that are need and you have one out of the two but still good messages
Your poems are way too dark for me. It's sad only painful events move you to write these fine poems. Your work exemplifies your feelings well and shows great creativity. If you ever cheer up and see life in a happier light, I would definitely like to read those results.