Monday, August 16, 2010

LGBT: Came out to my boyfriend... he doesn't want to end the relationship?

My boyfriend knew before we went out that I was ';confused'; and hated the thought of being gay an that's why I went out with him. Since being with him I've had my first lesbian experience and it gave me feelings I never knew I had, just kissing a girl gave me butterflies and that's never happened before. I knew before that I had feelings for girls, I would check girls out not lads. Are relationship has been on and off because of my confusion and I didn't want to have to brake up with him again so I told him about the girl and told him it brought back all the feelings I had before and his reply was ';I don't want this to end'; then abit after it was like I never even told him, he was just acting normal like I'd not just dropped a massive bombshell. Why would someone do that? How could he not of broke it off knowing I'm gay he's acting like i never said anything, I just need help to understand his behaviour, thanks for your comments :)LGBT: Came out to my boyfriend... he doesn't want to end the relationship?
He is warring about himself here. If he loves you he'd want you to be happy but he is being selfish or just scared that he won't find someone else. He thinks that if he ignores what you said that it would be like as if you never said it. It is a defense for him to pretend like everything is normal because that is how he wants it to stayLGBT: Came out to my boyfriend... he doesn't want to end the relationship?
Perhaps because he CARES for you? Maybe even LOVES you?





It doesn't matter what your orientation is, or might be -- if you don't see a future with your current boyfriend, you have both a right and an obligation to end things. It's not fair to him or to you to keep stringing him along with false hope.
maybe he likes u allot and doesn't want to believe ur gay. try telling him again and tell him that he acts like u said nothing.
If you still feel for him, then leave it alone. If not, you need to stress to him that you can't be with him anymore. Don't forget the stages of grief: denial being the first, followed by anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. He might just have convinced himself that you didn't really say that, or that you didn't mean it. Be prepared for his anger, blaming himself, the silent treatment, etc., because unless he's a very good friend as well as a boyfriend, he'll go through all of these. And yes, it sucks, but if he can't eventually get past the fact that you don't want to be with him, then he doesn't deserve to be your friend. Good luck!

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