The thing is, is that he lives about an hour to hour an a half away, so we don't really see each other that much. However, the last few days him and I have been hanging out and such, and it was the first time him and I have 'Made Love' or sex as you wanna put it. It was very special to both of us, but I also found myself maybe being a little 'IN LOVE' with him. Which is why I find myself being jealous, of the other girls he dates,or sleeps with. To me I am growing up, and I am wanting a REAL relationship with him. And I know he does to, but at the same time, he doesn't. He's the 'Player' kind of boy, who love getting girls phone numbers,and hitting of them,and ect.
Like I said, him and I have been best friends for a while, and we are alike in every which way. From how we look at life, to how we are so sarcastic, to how we agree on everything.
Him and I have never had a fight, however last week we did, it was other this one girl, who I don't like. [Cause she likes my bf, she slept with my bf before me, and she has a bf and cheated on her 'guy' with mine]. Along with he being ugly and such. So I sent her a nasty message tell her to leave my boyfriend alone. That she doesn't mean anything to him, she was just a one night stand and such. Of course the 'Skank' tells my bf, and he gets all mad at me.[Mainly cause he had been caught giving a 14 year old booz] And he had just been left off the hook when I sent the message. So I guess i understand why he would be pissed. But at the same time, I think he should have understood the reason why I sent it. He knows, how it makes me feel, when I know I'm not his only girl.
The whole 'Open Relationship' it is for him. I can tell you right now, I don't **** around. I don't sleep with other guys, or whatever. To me it is still cheating, and it makes me sick, if I do anything with someone else, while I am in a relationship.
Another thing that bugs me is that, he tells girls, that he is single, that I am his 'EX gf'. And this has been quite annoying, cause this one girl who he has been seeing, who I feel so threatened by, he tells her this. She is the kind of girl who is a goodie goodie, Christian, won't have sex till she's married kind of girl. However she is MADLY like stars in her eyes in love with him. Even though she is being used, she is clueless. Which is why I have no idea why I am threatened by her. Mainly cause I have a feeling my bf will get the same feelings for her. [Opposites Attract] And that is exactly what they are.
I have talked to my friends about this and they all say,
'Dump him, he's not taking it to be serious, you guys had your fun, and you wanna take a new step,and he's still ******* around, let him know what its like to lose the best thing to ever happen to him'
I know why they say this, but even if him and I do brake up ever, we will still be best friends, that just how we are.
Now last night him and I were talking about 'Us' and how he said he is scared to 'Fall In Love' with me. [Mainly cause I have Ovarain Cancer, and my numbers,and stages change constantly] He is also thinking that he may not be 'Cut Out' for the whole 'Relationship' thing. meaning just him and I.
Now, I know we did take a BIG step when we slept together for the first time. How it did have a real meaning for him and I, it wasn't just some 'random ******* but it was SOMETHING to us.
Now I will be going though treatment, chemo and what not, and him and I won't be able to talk for about 2 weeks, cause my system will be tired from all the drugs in me. So I think this might help us..help him see what its like not talking or really being with me.
So what I want to know is;
Should we brake up?
Should I see where things go?
What?
HELP!
PS. I know he does care about me a lot. And I know he would hate losing me he has even told me, and I quote.
'I have no idea how I would feeling being with out you. It really scared me. I've taken a risk letting myself get so attached to you, and again by dating other girls'So my boyfriend/bestfriend.?
Its hard to comprehend how he tells you all these things yet sleeps with other women. Perhaps hes trying to fill a void. Sometimes people use sex for selfish reasons and forget that sex USED to be ';an act of love';. We are a sex craved society, sex sells! People will distribute satisfaction amongst people to get the feeling of affection that we all want at least deep down. That said, maybe this guy really is afraid to truely let his emotions show and fall in love with you, but unfortunatly the longer and the more he sleeps with other girls the farther hes distancing from you. On the contrary, women are more emotional creatures and your having the adverse affect, being more emotionally involved the more you have sex with him. I've been in this situation before and it almost always ends in heartbreak. I could have told you eventually you'd fall for this guy normally the girl does, but if you want to prevent yourself from a world of hurt some things need to change and I dont think I need to tell you this..deep down you know also.
Soo give him the ultinatium. Either he has an exclusive relationship with you, or your done with him. If he can or ever does become a monogamous person I see hope for this to be a full and healthy functioning relationship. This has gone on for too long and now he believes that his behavior is okay and so the hardest thing will he getting him to see what can be if things are different. Try talking to him and sparking some change within him. If he truely cares, I think he might. Otherwise, at least you know you tried and life is to short to waste time on something thats never going to happen. In that case, I'd move on. If its easier, you may have to cut friendship with him a litte short for a little while, but if theres someone better out there whose going to give you what you want and deserve then move on, get out there, and make it happen! Good luck.So my boyfriend/bestfriend.?
In my opinion if your ready to close an open relationship and make it an exclusive one you both should be ready. Like people always say it takes 2 to tangle. If hes not ready to commit to you and your ready to commit to him then its kinda like hes letting you push the boulder up the side of the
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mountain while he sleeps with other girls and flirts with him. I've been in the same situation as you have and i chose to close the relationship but she wasnt ready so i had to let her go. because if i didnt i would only be hurting myself and i dont like that. If you want me toelaboratejustdropaline
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