How's my story? It's the first I've written and I know there is spelling errors. need reviews/opinions/etc.?

Good and Broken:


INTRO:


THUMP! “Kayden? Kayden?! Are you okay?! Kayden!?” Sam cried out in sheer terror as Kayden fell to the ground.





Kayden fell to the ground in Sam’s art studio that day because he had an anxiety attack. Sam never figured out why Kayden had the anxiety attack… let alone what, or who it was about. When Kayden fell he hit his head on the air conditioner, and caused a concussion, so he was immediately transferred to the ICU. Waiting him in the ICU was his closest friends and family. Sam Cooper, who he had been friends with since he was 5, and were neighbors with until they both turned 18. Nick Keller, his older brother, who was very close to Kayden and were always talking and keeping in touch, but Nick was dating Sam, and Nick knew it put a slight strain on their relationship. Also in the hospital was Kayden’s girlfriend Andy Monroe, who was witty, sarcastic, and a complete snob. Andy was very full of herself and everyone noticed, except Kayden. Andy also hated Sam, because she felt Kayden spent too much time with “Sammy” and not enough with her. Then there was Jesse Green, his friend from high school, who was very laid back, funny, and confident. But Jesse would brake your arm if she had to. And lastly, Dillan Fremont, Jesse’s boyfriend and a close family friend to the Keller’s. Dillan had met Jesse at Nick’s graduation party and have been inseperable ever since. However, Kayden’s parents were not there to help him in his time of need because they lived in the UK, and only bothered to contact the boys when they sought out nessicary. Kayden and Nick’s parents were very cruel. They use to threaten to beat them if they didn’t do as they were told. Kayden never forgave his parents, and held a strong grudge against them. Nick on the other hand never accepted he had bad parents. He treats them as though nothing ever happened. He drags Kayden up there for Christmas every year, and him and his parents act as though they were strangers. Sam was a very talented artist. Her whole family was, and they had an art studio in downtown L.A., that Sam would drive to once a week to check up on it… and Kayden usually tagged along. The day Kayden fell was a day like any other, until he plummeted down. Sam wondered what she had said to make him fall… or did he just fall? Sam needed to know, and fast.





Chapter 1: Who are you?!


Andy was sitting next to his bed sobbing. Then there was a knock on the door and Sam approached. “Hey, just came to see Kayden. How’s he doing?” Sam asked. “Just fine, thanks. He still hasn’t woken up and the doctors don’t know why.” Sam was a bit taken aback by her comment and began, “Oh, well…” Sam gasped. “He’s waking up!” Sam ran to his bed and said, “Kayden? Are you awake? Kay-KAYDEN! You’re awake!” Sam hugged him tightly and smiled wider than she ever has before.


Andy hugged him too, and Kayden just stared into space. Andy had a look of concern and said, “Kay? Are you okay?” Kayden looked at her and said, “Who are you?” Andy felt a tear roll down her prcelian pale face. “I’m Andy. Your girlfriend… of 5 months. You don’t remember me?” Kayden stared at her and shook his head no. Andy cried uncontrollably, showing no signs of stopping. Sam looked at Kayden and said, “Do you remember me Kayden?” in a soft sob. Kayden looked at her and smiled, “Sammy! Where’s your Power Rangers bracelet?!” Sam looked almost horrified. “I haven’t worn that in 3 years because I almost lost it at Disneyland with you…” Andy laughed. “I don’t wear it anymore because I didn’t want to lose it because you gave it to me in 7th grade, when we loved power rangers because your first girlfriend hated them and you wanted her to brake-up with you.” Sam said with a huge sincere smile. Joe looked puzzled… “I’ve never been to Disneyland… and we're in 9th grade…”


It was clear… Joe had lost his memory for his life from 10th grade to the day of his fall. Just when he said that Nick and Dillan rushed through the door. Nick ran up to Sam and hugged her tightly and she buried her head into his chest. He kissed the top of her head, and she looked up at him and said, “I love you Nick.” And kissed him quickly and cautiously. Kayden stared at Nick. “EW! Nick? Why are you kissing Sam! What happened to Bree?!” Nick looked at Kayden very confused. “What? Sam and I have been dating for a year and a half!” Nick was confused and as he glanced over he saw Andy sobbing quietly. “Andy? Why are you crying like that?” Nick asked as he walked to the other side of the bed. “Kayden doesn’t remember me. All he remembers is stupid “Sammy” and they’re power ranger addiction in middle school! And… I’m sorry I have to go.” Andy rushed out of the room. Dillan was the first to break the silence, which he usually does. “Well umm… I’ll go check on Andy.”





Chapter 2: Remembering the Unwanted Truth


Dillan ran over to Andy and hugged her as she was sitting on the ground crying. Andy hugged him back and sobbed, “Why, Why Kayden? He loves me… sHow's my story? It's the first I've written and I know there is spelling errors. need reviews/opinions/etc.?
That's okay for a first timer, but it's more as if you were chatting... or having a speech.





I'll gve u a tip. if u wanna get honest opinions, don't tell your age or that it's your first or tenth writing. people will always count tthat...